Things I Say (and kind of wish I didn't)
I have a Bachelor’s in English and a Master’s in English Education. I’m not just tooting my own horn but sharing because language is one of my favorite things. I’m the dork who owns several dictionaries and will spend time just looking through them to find the origins of a word or the preferred pronunciation. I also spend (too much) time thinking about grammatical mistakes that I find in people’s speech or writing. I was known to go off the deep end in college for a sign that was on display at the bank where I worked. Commas in the wrong spot. A period at the end of a non-sentence fragment (like this one). It was a big, emotional moment for me.
Now that you know this, it’s important that I be honest with you: I’m not perfect.
I know, I know. You’re a little shocked. Alas, it is true. I make grammatical and linguistic mistakes all the time.
In my defense, they are generally due to colloquialisms and vernacular (or the fact that my genius is cluttered and I simply don’t have time to consider the ramifications of my choices).
With that, I offer you a list of things I say that I kind of wish I didn’t:
- Totes Adorbs – What does this even mean and why did we start saying it? It’s obnoxious, and I catch myself saying it every now and again.
- LOL – Ok, so I don’t say this, but I definitely write it. A lot. More than a lot. To an extent that every time I write it, I feel like gouging my eyes out. LOL. See? Arg!
- Down with the 411. I still say this, and it’s not 1999 anymore. Does anyone even know what it means anymore?
- That’s what she said. Actually, I think this one is hilarious, but I say it in my head in almost every conversation with almost everyone. Sometimes at inappropriate times. Thankfully, I have a decent filter and only say it out loud to Aaron or friends who will get it and not want to slap me.
- Do you want me to give you something to cry about? A rhetorical question that is too often actually answered in my house and sounds exactly like my father.
- Poop on a Stick! Yes, my friends, I say this. A lot. It’s my curse word/phrase. It’s weird. What does it mean? And why do I say it? Who actually finds poop on a stick? This phrase erupts from my lips for all types of reasons: stubbing my toe, losing a contact, running into the wall. It’s universal but so strange.
Ok, fess up. What do you say that kind of embarrasses you? Hit me in the comments!
I totally say “that’s what she said” all the time. I also totally say “totally” all the time. And “whatever.” I’ll totally forgive you, if you forgive me! LOL!! 😛
Whatever. Oops.
For some reason, I have been ending many sentences with “man” lately. Eg. “I know what you mean, man”. “Work sucks, man”. Why do I do this? Why can’t I stop (man)??
You reminded me that I use, “dude” a lot when I’m talking. I try to come off as being hip, but I’m sure it’s totally NOT.
I say”shut up” when I am shocked by something like Elaine Bennis from Seinfield. I wish I could blurt out more quotes from that show more often. Hello Newman!
Haha, the “shut up” thing is totally true.
Ha! I love this so much. I’m considered the grammar nazi among my friends and family, but I mess stuff up all the time too. For example, I’m a huge fan of sentence fragments. I use them regularly in my writing. In my defense, I think if I recognize that they’re wrong and choose to use them anyway it’s totally ok. I also never met a comma I didn’t like. Well, except for that one in your sign (from your other post). That one was just wrong.
I totally use fragments all the time. Once you become an established writer, you’re allowed. It’s stylistic. Hemingway was a master of them. For real. 🙂
This is hysterical! Ha! I say “lol” all the time. I feel like such a dork but what other way is there to get across that I am laughing out loud? I used to capitalize it all — LOL. Until my teenage daughter laughed at me and said “why do all you adults feel the need to capitalize this?” Lol! I am Queen of Fragmented Sentences but that’s how I roll. And I never know where to put commas even though I went to “Secretarial School” and had the original Grammar Nazi as a teacher. What I do overuse is this: Like. Like, totally. I think I picked that up from my daughter and I don’t know how to stop. I need a stint at a vocabulary rehab.
I did NOT realize we weren’t supposed to capitalize. These whippersnappers teach us a lot, don’t they?
This is hysterical! Ha! I say “lol” all the time. I feel like such a dork but what other way is there to get across that I am laughing out loud? I used to capitalize it — LOL. Until my teenage daughter laughed at me and said “why do all you adults feel the need to capitalize this?” Lol! I am Queen of Fragmented Sentences but that’s how I roll. And I never know where to put commas even though I went to “Secretarial School” and had the original Grammar Nazi as a teacher. What I do overuse is this: Like. Like, totally. I think I picked that up from my daughter and I don’t know how to stop. I need a stint at a vocabulary rehab.
ok, I don’t know how my comment got published twice. Embarrassing. Sorry about that.
haha, I love this! I say “poop on a stick” and “that’s what she said,” too!
My swearing stand-ins are “balls” and “mother of pearl,” and I find myself saying “exactly” all too often.
Mother of pearl is one of my favorites, too!