Being the Parent I Want to Be
I received a free copy of this book to review. All opinions are 100% my own. There was no other compensation.
Admission: Too many times, I am not the parent I want to be. I hear myself screaming. I hear myself huffing and puffing. I don’t pay enough attention to my children. I don’t give them enough chances to try things on their own due to my personal impatience. Regardless of how many children I have — we’re at three right now — I have never been perfect. Shocking, I know.
Like most caring parents searching for a way to do a better job at this raising-the-future gig, I read books. Lots of books. And lots of articles. And I ask my friends questions left and right. Don’t we all want to find the right and best way to help our kids be the best kids they can be?
When I find an author who has a level head on his or her shoulders and who talks to me like a friend would talk, I can’t help but soak up all he or she has to share. I have found just this with Dr. Deborah Gilboa’s Get the Behavior You Want without Being the Parent You Hate.
You may have heard of Dr. G. She is a family physician, mother of four (boys!), and is known for her work in teaching children resilience. Using practical tips for children of all ages, Dr. G provides down to earth, real advice about how we can help our children (ages 18 months to 12 years) grow as little humans.
The book starts by discussing the concept of respect. As parents, I think it’s safe to assume that we all would appreciate if our children show us respect, but doesn’t it go further than that? If we can teach our children the “skill of self-respect,” this will in turn build manners, good communication, and ultimately resilience.
My mother has always said that children will behave the worst at home — because it’s where they feel the most comfortable. Guess who said basically the same thing. Dr. G. And this is why I appreciate her so much. Her methods and her philosophies ring true with me and make complete sense. They do not feel like a gimmick to help my child for a little while and then quit when it gets difficult. Instead, the advice Dr. G provides is something I can easily incorporate into our routines at home.
Dr. G continues by discussing some of the trickier pieces of parenting: teaching responsibility and expecting it from our little ones. We can do this by starting with one simple task: get the little guys to keep themselves clean. I appreciate that Dr. G consistently spells out the developmentally appropriate things our children can do to meet such goals as responsibility. A toddler can learn to wash his hands. A preschooler can learn to use the potty and then wash hands each time he goes to the bathroom. An older child can learn to use deodorant and help with the laundry.
While it may seem that we’re putting such focus on the behaviors of our children, Dr. G makes it clear. To truly get the behavior we want from our kids, we must take some steps as parents to teach and guide them. And we must set a good example. There should be no question to our children that we’re going to follow through with what we have promised them whether it’s a treat or a consequence for bad behavior.
We can’t expect our children to be perfect all the time. Heck, we’re not perfect all the time. But we can expect our children to learn how to be responsible, resilient, and likeable people in their community and world. With Dr. G’s experience and practical tips, it’s really not as frightening as it seems.
Be sure to order your copy of Get the Behavior You Want without Being the Parent You Hate! You won’t regret it.
I can also proudly say that I’ve had dinner with Dr. G, and she’s as real around the dinner table as she comes across in the book. She also loves ice cream as much as I do, so for that, I simply love her.
I read something else about this book and it really intrigues me. I’d love to get through my day with less yelling and stress!