Motivate Your Child (Review)
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book and compensation in exchange for my review. These opinions are 100% mine.
To get our children to do things without argument: sounds like a fable, right? Seems like we all work so hard on a daily basis and reach our personal patience limit more than we’d like to. If only there was some way we could make it easier to get our kids doing what we want without whining or complaining?
Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller have provided an excellent guide for doing just this in their new book, Motivate Your Child: A Christian Parent’s Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told.
In this book, they provide, first, an explanation of the difference between internal and external motivation. My children are struggling with this at their various ages (10, almost-4, and almost-2). Miss Sassy Pants does something for someone else in the family without waiting for praise more than she used to, but it has come with time. It’s precious to see Flash share with his older brother without being asked — and so we try to foster that behavior. We want to build the internal motivation so that they do things – whether it’s sharing or getting ready for school – without waiting for something like a sticker or a quarter for good behavior. (And let me stop to say, I have used the rewards system in the past because it worked — but was it working the way I was hoping it would work?)
My mom has always said that when children behave well outside of the home, you should be thankful. Generally, it means their parents (or whoever is raising them) has taught them some really important lessons about the way “civilized” people should behave. Turansky and Miller also cover this idea in their chapter, “Putting the Conscience to Work Outside the Home.” In this section, they discuss having conversations with our children — like, “what if” conversations — to help them prepare for a real world situation they may encounter. Providing our children with the tools and responses they may need when confronted with a difficult situation helps to build that conscience and confidence.
Bottom line, Motivate Your Child brings the responsibility of teaching children how to behave back to the parents and the teachings of the Bible. I’m excited to have this on hand as I have multiple children who will need different guidance for their different budding personalities.
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