Do You Miss It?

I quit teaching in the face-to-face high school classroom in April of 2011. It dawned on me the other day that I’ll finish up FOUR years of being at home with my kids this coming summer, and that I’ve missed an entire class (freshman to senior) of students at the high school. The only reason I know some of the students graduating is because I know an older sibling or know them from church or the community.

Today, Flash and I visited Aaron at the school, and I ended up at Aaron’s desk while they walked around the halls for a minute. As students walked in, they gave me a very tell-tale look that said, “Awesome. We have a sub.” Some even openly asked, “Are you our sub?” I assured them that, no, I was actually the other half of Math Man’s marriage, and they just smiled and said, “Oh right, we recognize you.” For a minute, I caught myself feeling guilty for not standing at the door to greet students. I could hear the buzz in the hall, heard a couple of curse words (I wanted to go out and catch those kids!), and felt a semi-panic over whether Aaron would make it back before the bell rang and someone had to keep these kids in line.

Funny how after almost four years of being gone, it’s like being right back where I was so comfortable for eleven years.

People ask me all the time, “Do you miss it?” At first, I said, “Oh no!” That was in the first year.

These days, I pause for a minute before answering.

Do I miss the students? I do. I miss interacting with them, getting them excited about Shakespeare, and forging relationships with kids who may not have anyone else to listen to them. Some of my most rewarding moments are brought back to me time and again through students who are still my friends or who check in with me now and again. They’ve grown up, started their own families, and have killer careers.

Do I miss the coworkers and adult interaction? Oh yes. I miss having lunch with my girlfriends on a daily basis — even if it’s just for 25 minutes while we hurry and grade papers or quickly answer a student question at the door. I miss being crazy and dressing up for various events — even if the students looked at us like we were nuts. I miss having someone right next door as a great friend (I was lucky to have a few fit this category) with whom I could talk shop, kids, husbands, and more.

Do I miss lesson planning? Not really. I still do it. What many don’t realize is that, while I’m not in a physical, brick and mortar school, I am still teaching. In fact, I may be working harder now than I did in a f2f classroom. I create lesson plans, grade essays, call students, and more but it’s all in my little office here at the house, and it’s all squeezed into the times that I can steal. On a good day, the boys sleep for a few hours and Miss Sassy Pants finds something to keep herself busy while I work as quickly as I can. On a bad day, I get maybe 1 hour to do 8 hours worth of work. I teach online high school freshmen and online college freshmen. It’s a lot to do with three kids plus the other things I try to accomplish.

So do I miss it? A little. This working from home gig is hard. Many who have never tried it don’t understand what it’s like to give up your career, basically, to raise the munchkins. I am not complaining, but it is very, very hard. I thrived in the f2f world, and it’s hard to show how much I really love this profession from behind a computer (and amongst the diapers and toys).

Tags: sahm, teaching, wahm