Confrontation (Secret Subject Swap)
This week 15 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
My “Secret Subject” is:
How do you handle confrontation? Are you open-minded and willing to discuss options?
It was submitted by: Never Ever Give Up Hope
Confrontation. If you know me personally, you know I absolutely hate it.
In the fifth grade, I dealt with some really ugly situations. Girls. Girls are just super, super mean, and I was mixed up with a group of extremely mean girls. I honestly believe that somewhere in that mixup, I learned to fear confrontation.
Middle school was rough, and I found that I usually cowered rather than handle a situation head on. This caused me to have a very small circle of good friends (which as I grew up actually became a good thing). I had other friends, yes, but they weren’t my BFFs.
The bottom line? I like people to like me. I cannot stand thinking that someone is mad at me or thinks badly of me. My BFF will tell you that I say, “YES” too much rather than allow myself to say, “No” and possibly disappoint someone.
In the times that I do allow myself to get into a confrontation, I am 99% of the time open-minded.
The one thing that will get me to not be open-minded is when I just know I’m right. And I usually only go to bat for a problem when I’m defending someone.
Interesting because there have been very few times that I’ve gone to bat – with a vengeance – for myself.
My kids will bring out the mama bear in me. I have been known to go after another adult who did something I didn’t agree with to or against one of my children.
I will fight for one of my teachers who is feeling mistreated or who doesn’t understand why something is happening. I will put their questions on my back as if I’m the one who doesn’t understand so that they don’t feel silly.
But tell someone they’ve hurt my feelings or meet a personal problem head on? That’s where I get all goofy and gooey legged.
In my old age, though, I’m getting better. I’m learning how to say what I mean and divorce my emotions from my actions. I’m getting more confident in my ability to say what I need to say without worrying that I’ll hurt someone’s feelings or that they won’t like me after the conversation is over. Not everyone has to be my BFF.
How are you with confrontation? Can you set your feelings aside and handle it?
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out.
Baking In A Tornado
The Momisodes
Spatulas on Parade
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Southern Belle Charm
The Lieber Family Blog
Never Ever Give Up Hope
Confessions of a part time working mom
Someone Else’s Genius
Small Talk Mama
Rena’s World
Climaxed
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
I’m not a fan of confrontation either, but as I get older, I am finding myself able to stand up for what’s right more often. And standing up for myself too. Finally standing up for myself probably led to why I left my last job, but that needed to happen anyway, so I’m fine with it.
Ha – glad it worked out in the long run!
So funny that those of us who avoid confrontation in our own lives will fight for those we love.
I hate confrontation too, and tend to just turn around and walk away from people who I feel are toxic. It would probably be better if I tried to work it out, but most often I don’t.
I think it probably WOULD be best if we could just face it…
I’m not a fan of confrontation, but I’m not one to back down either. I try to avoid it, but if it is unavoidable, I will stand strong. Great post!
I back down. Not proud of myself — of course, unless I’m defending others!
I’m an annoying B who doesnt mind confrontation when it is necessary. It helps make things run smoother after the issue is addressed in a friendly and direct manner.
You are right. If I could deal with some things head-on, it would surely solve some major stress!
This could be me. Fight like hell for those I love and not myself. Learning to overcome that is a fight itself. Great post
Exactly. I wish I could tap into that ability for me!
I’m actually just the opposite. I used to be able to handle confrontation really good. Well not really good, but since I had anger issues stemming from the loss of my father when I was a teenager. I usually started the confrontation. Now being older I hate them. I get all tore up in my stomach, but like you if it involves my family then mama bear will rip someone’s head off haha!I think I am this way because being disabled I can longer defend myself so I have a fear of people.
I’m not sure I can fully pinpoint the moment that I got “bad” at confrontation. I hate hearing that you find yourself in fear!
I deal well with confrontation. In fact, I am often called on to mediate situations when people are having issues. I can usually turn an ugly situation into a friendly one. It is part of knowing how to sell. One of the most important things is to remain calm, speak very little and defuse the situation. My husband, employees and business partner stare in unbelief. I find it fun.
I want your power!
when it comes to my confrontations, I hate them. I mostly avoid, never speak to them again, or make excuses. At the same time, I say what I have to say and don’t care.
When it comes to AJ, oh no, I can’t speak up enough for him. I agree Momma bear is coming out.