Commitment

Commitment. Not only do I have trouble spelling it (I always want to put two Ts in it), but I also struggle to understand why some people can’t make a commitment to things. I’ve been thinking a lot about this word the last 7 weeks since baby boy was born.

I have had my share of run-ins with non-committed folks (that time, there WERE two Ts. Weird.). What I don’t understand about people who run away from that to which they’ve promised themselves is why did they promise themselves in the first place? Why get married if you’re going to leave? Why take a job if you’re going to quit? Why start a project if you’re just going to abandon it?

Aaron and I have committed ourselves not only to each other but to this little family we’re beginning to create. It’s hard. It’s very hard. We love each other and these children, but we must make a conscious decision daily to get out of bed and spend time with our kids. Now, that may sound harsh – that I have to make a conscious decision to be with these little lovelies – but anyone who is fully honest with themselves and who has a child will agree. It’s hard to give up your own freedoms to feed, change, and entertain these little creatures.

At 2 am this morning, as I nursed my baby boy and realized that my bed would feel much better than the recliner I was in, commitment came to mind. I am fully committed to my children. I am fully committed to my fabulous husband. I am committed to my job and the choice I’ve made to stay home for at least a few years.

But do those commitments come with an easy, bump-less path? Heck no. Aaron will forget to put his clothes away, and I’ll get annoyed – but he’s still stuck with me. The girl or the boy will need me right as I get into the shower to finally be alone – but they’re stuck with me. And the work that I do may take away some of the personal time I wish I could have all the time – but I believe in it and will stick with it.

This world and its responsibilities are way bigger than my little personal needs. I’m happy to make those commitments because, in the long run, I know they’ll pay off and I will look back to realize how blessed I truly am.