Blessings: Forgiveness (Day 6)
Verse to ponder: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Today ended in a not-so-pretty way. The house is all a shambles. The kids were whining. I’m tired. Exhausted, really. Most days, I want to cry. I just want to sit down in silence and cry over how tired I am both in body and spirit. I work multiple jobs and can’t seem to find a break. It’s a daily issue; and if I do try to give myself a break, I fall further behind. This makes me feel even more crazy. I don’t really know the answer to what I can do to make things better. I guess making millions so I can just sit and relax on a beach would help — but I don’t see that happening any time very soon.
You may be thinking, “Um, Lydia, this is supposed to be a post about blessings — not a whine fest.” And you’re right. I’m getting there.
Tonight, I realized that after I screamed and yelled and threw dishes into the dishwasher, after my children stared at me wide-eyed, after my husband silently put the boys to bed, and after my body stopped shaking — everyone still loved me. I didn’t make them hate me. And I had been and would be forgiven.
This unending and unwavering love and forgiveness is an amazing blessing. The Lord gives it to us, and we’re called to do the same to those around us. Forgiveness is a hard gift to give — especially when someone distinctly wrongs you.
I wasn’t the nicest tonight. But my family loves me. And He loves me in a way I actually can never fully understand. And that love and forgiveness is a blessing.
I love this. A lot. As I sit here at 10 pm getting ready to dive into my work for the night, I felt like doing exactly what you just described. Throwing all of the toys into a box, yelling at the kids for not picking up, getting frustrated over the piles of laundry. It’s exhausting. But I love how you spoke of the forgiveness. It stopped my anger from building up.
I love this, and I love you. Your honesty, transparency, and love.
Sending hugs for the hard.
I have those kinds of days too. And my kids always forgive me. Often before I’ve forgiven myself. It’s humbling. Here’s to a peaceful day for you, Momma!