Are you raising a reclusive child?
Do you guys ever feel like it’s hard making other “mom” friends? Isn’t it sometimes easier to seclude ourselves in our homes, routines, and our own “little worlds” rather than socialize with others?
As a homeschooling family, we hear a lot about socialization; and honestly for many of us it doesn’t come easily. As an ex-large homeschool group leader, I met hundreds of moms; and there were many that were literal go-getters in the friend department. I would witness them meet someone on Monday, and by Friday they had a new best friend for life. I often felt odd or weird that making connections didn’t happen like that for me…ever!
A little back story
My daughter and I had become a little reclusive before I decided to step out in faith and start my own homeschool group. In my personal upbringing (and I am sure many others), my mom didn’t “teach” us how to make friends, and she wasn’t modeling that for me either.
Like many women, she had social insecurities; and that naturally was passed onto me. This isn’t to fault anyone, but I am just using my personal experience to hopefully help others. My mom was just doing what maybe she learned, and I did the same.
Until my daughter was around 7, we didn’t meet up with other moms; we didn’t play date,;and if I am being transparent I dodged those opportunities rather than welcoming them. But eventually God convicted me of something, I was harming my own daughter by not putting myself out there. I wasn’t teaching her how to build solid connections, and I wasn’t modeling anything positive in that department. I was setting her up for social failure.
This doesn’t just happen to homeschool moms! This happens to many of us. Because of our own insecurities we fall short in preparing our children to function out there. They need this basic skill to talk to people, respect others, and make friendships that build their confidence then later get jobs and become successful young adults.
Creating the solution
So I told myself no matter what, I was forcing myself to do it. It wasn’t easy at first; I started a homeschool group through a meetup, and there were some uncomfortable firsts for me. I had to make myself show up every time — no chickening out or last minute cancellations. I had to smile and ask questions, be a good listener, basically use skills I already possessed but had just been too afraid to use.
The more I kept moving forward, the more people God kept sending, and the more people I kept meeting. I prayed before every playdate and meetup with my daughter, asking the Lord to bring us the right people and positive connections.
Ya’ll know what happened? We made friends! Lots of friends, sincere connections, and God even used me to help so many others along the way!
Sometimes if we step out of our comfort zone, God really uses us — blesses us! I am such a different person today, not shy or nervous to talk to people, not afraid of what they might think of me; none of that matters now.
Don’t seclude yourself momma! You could find so much joy in a friendship, even if just one special one! And the benefits that you will reap from your kiddos watching mom model how to easily interact with others is indeed priceless!
It may take some time and prayer to find the right connections for you, but I promise you God has them for you. God’s design for us is to have relationship, connections, and do life together in our communities. Don’t be afraid to start building your tribe no matter how big or small.
In His Service,
Courtney
Hi there! I am a homeschool momma of 3 sweet kiddos here to share all I have learned so far and continue to learn. I am like many of you trying to find the perfect balance in it all; wife, mom, teacher, homemaker, and passionately pursue the Lord daily. We have been homeschooling for over 7 years, I am a former large homeschool group leader and non-profit ministry leader, and have helped hundreds of moms new to homeschooling begin their journey! I am blessed to be able to share my knowledge with you, and my heart’s desire is to continue to live in His Grace, Grow in it all, and Edify myself and those around me. Join me on Grace, Grow & Edify or find me on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.
So glad you found the courage to step out and interact with others — it’s so important for you and your daughter as you go through this education journey together. Great piece!
Good read.
We always learn and grow when we step out of our comfort zones! How moving that you were able to recognize the issues and come up with a solution. We all want the best for our children and it begins with us, great advice.
Good read and wonderful advice. I can relate since I also homeschool my children.
It is hard to get out there and meet new people! We’re not a homeschooling family, but I work from home and miss that connection. It’s so important to get out there, and I feel better once I do!