Sigh…

Am I the only person who gets super excited when things start going the right direction and then begin to obsess again when I take a step back? No, I know I’m not. You know some of you do it, too.

Yesterday was AWESOME. I was rocking some serious Work At Home Mom time. The Animal woke up, nursed, ate breakfast, played, took a perfect length nap, woke up, nursed, went with me to pick up Miss Sassy Pants, participated at the bank and at Daddy’s job, played with big sister when we got home, nursed again!, slept perfect again!, nursed, ate a snack, rested a bit, nursed again, ate dinner, went to bed. Between all of that, Miss SP and I worked on her school project and have it almost finished, did some other crafty things, enjoyed each other’s time, counted Girl Scout cookie orders, and even managed to eat and relax in between.

That was an AWESOME day. I promise myself to remember how great it was.

Today has been markedly different. The Animal decided when he woke up this morning that sister and Daddy were more interesting than nursing. Then, he decided that a nap is for idiots, and he woke up early. He did nurse after he woke up then, but now he’s back in his bed resting since he couldn’t hang for longer than an hour (because his nap was jacked up).

Sigh. It’s not even noon.

I love my status as a WAHM. Really, I do. I love that I’m right here to hang with little man and his sister. I love that I’m able to sit in my PJs with some gosh-darn-awful hair and no one but the nonjudgemental baby can see me. I do. I love it all.

That doesn’t make it easy. That doesn’t mean that life is cake.

I wish it WAS cake. With no calories. And no fat content — wouldn’t that be wonderful?

But it’s not. Life is hard. Life is NOT a bowl of cherries. Life means sacrificing and stressing and frustrationating (yeah, I made that up – I’m an English teacher – had to be parallel in structure).

Don’t get me wrong. Seriously. Please don’t think I’m lamenting my situation. I love my husband and my children. I can see the forest for the trees, and I know that there will be many easier days ahead. I know there’s a “light at the end of the tunnel,” and I’m by NO means hurrying the days away.

But for now, I wish and pray for some illumination from that light that might tell me what I’m doing wrong or could help ease me into a non-obsessive state!